If It Bothers You, It’s NOT Stupid

mind, Uncategorized


Whenever someone jokingly and sub-consciously insults me, I’m..well, insulted. But I try to brush it off and make it seem like whatever that person said didn’t affect me. I would stifle a laugh, change the subject, whatever, but it would bother me for days, weeks, even months! And sometimes a year. I would aways try to act like it was nothing and like it made absolutely no impact on my life because I didn’t want people to think I was being stupid or foolish, or even sensitive until I came across an epiphany last night.

I’m one for shower thoughts and also one for a mind that runs wild prior to drifting off into a deep slumber and so yesterday night was a night where I was really reflecting on this past year and even years earlier. A lot has happened in the past year but there were only a few things that kept sticking out even though they weren’t necessarily major events. Things in the realm of microaggression kept on circling through my mind and I kept on trying to put off these thoughts because I was telling myself I was probably overreacting. But that’s when I realized that’s where I’ve been wrong not only in the past year but for almost my entire life.

I thought I was overreacting whenever I couldn’t get over someone’s seemingly harmless wrongdoing or simple ignorance but maybe I was overreacting. Maybe I was and am more aware than others in certain things which made me realize one thing I think everyone should ingrain in their brains regardless of age, race, gender, sexuality, etc…

If it bothers you, it’s not stupid. You’re not overreacting. You should not push it away. If it bothers you, you should speak your mind and set the record straight.

I’ve experienced microaggression all my life, I’m Asian and so people think that things that they say are not impacting me whatsoever even though they are. I asked a few of my fellow Asian friends this and apparently this is something they hear all the time: “That’s so Asian.”

The person saying this could be referring to a pair of plain white sneakers (this has happened to me personally) or even your face. But what does that even mean? It doesn’t even make sense! Is saying that supposed to offend me…like I’m ashamed of my own race? And how can a pair of white sneakers be Asian? Let me know. And my face? Yes. My face is “so Asian” because I am Asian, so you’re going to need to clarify what you mean by describing something as “So Asian” and whether you were trying to insult me or make a joke.

Clearly, that example is simply that, an example. Snide yet subconscious examples or even microaggression occur everywhere…unfortunately, but if it bothers you, you should address the person who said it and make sure they know that ignorance is in fact, not bliss.


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The digital diary of a 18 year old // fashion, beauty, music, and musings... Contact: hello@brendaliang.com

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